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The earlier seasons of 7th Heaven are still good, funny and cute…though a little annoying, but this show was always a little annyoing (yes, I was a big fan of it, but that’s the truth)…And until today I’ve never realized how often Eric talks, notes, thinks and advert about sex :D 

"Star light, shine bright.
See me through the dark night."
-John Williams: Christmas star
Goodbye my lover

so…that’s how it should have ended. Okay, maybe a little less treacly.

Goodbye my lover

   Catherine left the morgue and headed to the locker room in the company of Sara. She couldn’t wait to take off her bloody shirt and changed into something more comfortable. On her way to the locker room, she saw as Lou stepped to Brass to discuss something with the captain. There was a big urge to dash over to him, and buried her face into his chest, to feel the familiar scent of him, and the way as his arms embraced her waist. But she earnested what she had said a night before; he deserves more. A young, nice girl whom heart wasn’t broken, who still can trust in men. A girl who’s completely the opposite of her. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to rout out the picture of Lou’s smile and warm eyes, and then she continued her way to the locker room.

   In the moment, she closed the door behind her; Lou recognized her shape and a sad smile passed over on his face. Deep inside he hoped that Catherine would let him know that she’s insafe and she’s alright. He heard some gossips that Catherine was shot but he didn’t know that it was true or not. No one told nothing like if he has no truck with her, like if their not-really-ended-but-not-really-working relationship would be such a big secret whereof nobody knows. Both Sara and Nick knew about what’s going on between them, but none of the CSIs felt necessary to inform Lou about what had happened with Catherine at her place. He tried to find Catherine, but she didn’t pick up her phone and she wasn’t in the lab. The only thing he knew that there was a shooting at her place, and it’d be a lie to say he didn’t worry about the redhead CSI. But it seemed that he wasn’t as important to Catherine…or at least wasn’t that special important to let him know about her whereabouts and soundness at last when she arrived back to the LVPD. He let out a sorrowful sight and went back to his office.

      Catherine and Sara were in the locker room. The brunette watched as Catherine took of her white shirt, which was ruined by her blood and gave to her to put it in to a bag. She took on another shirt, taking care not to touch her wound. Sara watched the action in silent.

“So…that resignation letter was a fake?” asked when she finished with packing the shirt.

“Yeah, a good one” answered Catherine without looking at her.

“They hacked your computer. They’ve been reading your e-mail”

“Getting inside my head” Catherine didn’t like too much the fact that they read her posts with Lindsey and Lou…okay, Lou and she didn’t talk in e-mail for awhile now, but they could read her old letters, which contained some really interesting and clubby e-mails from both Lou and her. They were written when Lou was far from Catherine for a couple of days and they missed each other. Something that Catherine didn’t want delete but didn’t wish for that anyone reads what she liked if she was with Lou.

“So, you really feel that way? Something’s missing in your life?” the question was in Sara since she has read the fake e-mail Catherine never seemed alone, in hurt, or that she misses something. She always seemed happy, steady, contented with her life. Maybe the reduction fagged her more than she showed it. Right, since she had some problem with detective Vartann and with their relationship, she didn’t seem that happy. Sadness was in her blue eyes, but she didn’t seem as she didn’t like her job.

“Since Lindsey’s left home, yeah. I mean I’m not sure what I’m missing. Some days I…I think a man to share my life with, and then other days, I’m good. I’m good to be alone” it was a lie. Her relationship with Lou spread almost over two years, and since their so-called break-up, she hated to be alone. Spent every night all by herself, in silent. She missed the company of Lou, but she wasn’t that type of the woman what Lou deserved. She knew it so well. She tried to hold back her tears at least until, Sara was in the room. As her words left her mouth, Lou’s face came up in front of her eyes. She knew that just a few weeks ago, she had that man she wished for, and she knew that nothing is closed with him. They just said that it’s over, but nothing is over yet. And she wasn’t strong enough to stand out in front of him and says that she loves him, but doesn’t want to be with him. And she especially wasn’t strong enough to tell him, she hadn’t got any idea why she didn’t want to be with him. Because Catherine didn’t dare to admit herself, that in the last years Lou was the best what happened in her life, and the reason why she decided to break up with him was her job. She made a huge mistake in the Huskel-case, and she lost her state as a boss, and now she feared that she will made a similarly huge mistake in her love life. It seemed it’s easiest to break up with Lou, so she couldn’t make a mistake. She hasn’t realized yet that she made that big mistake. That mistake was the breaking-up.

   Lou waited for Catherine at the PD for a few hours. He knew well that Catherine was in her office, and he knew that her case was closed. But because she didn’t appear in his office, he left home. He felt so alone. Alone than ever before. He put her deep-frozen diner into the micro and waited patiently until it was ready. His flat still wore the savor of Catherine. Her glass was in the counter, some of her clothes were still in the dresser. Her scent filled the whole flat. The photos about her and them still stood on the table, and hanged on the walls. He tried to keep the memory of her. He was still in deep love with her, and he knew that it won’t disappear from a day to another.

   The ring disturbed his poor diner. He stood up and went to the door. Catherine stood in it. Without saying a word, he was lopsided and Catherine got in the flat. She took off her coat and hung up on the hanger. They went into the living room and stood in front of each other in silent. Lou watched Catherine. She was pale, and sad. Her bandage showed under her tight, black top. The pain and the love were almost touchable in the room. The silence became awkward from minute to minute.

“You want something? Tea or coffee?” asked Lou to say something with he could start a conversation.

“A tea would be good. Thanks” Lou nodded and left to the kitchen. While he made the tea, Catherine took place on the couch. Her eyes caught a photo about them. It was made in Los Angeles in the last summer. They spent a weekend in California, with Jake and Lindsey. Jake made the photo, and both Catherine and Lou got a copy of it. Lindsey made two unique frames for them. It was Catherine’s favorite photo. They stood at the coast of the ocean, the wind ruffled their hair. Lou hugged her from behind. The endless Pacific Ocean was behind them, and the beautiful sunset colored the sky with orange, yellow, pink, and purple. She has never seen nicer sunset in her life. She gently touched the photo, and stroked Lou’s face on it. They were in love. They were happy. They were careless. Everything what they’re not now.

   Lou come back in a few minutes and placed a mug in front of the redhead woman. He caught Catherine’s movement.

“It was a good weekend with the kids” he said as he sat down.

“Yeah…I still can feel the breeze of the ocean” and the taste of the salt on your lips she added in her head. It happened that they went for a walk at the beach and they found a silent, lonely part. They stucked there to talk, to watch the ocean and the night. But after a few sentences, their conversation ended up in lovemaking. No one could saw them because the bountiful darkness of the night covered them. No one could heard them because the noises of the oceankept down their moans. They reached back to the hotel, when the sun first beams rose.

“Back then I knew I meant something to you, but now…I just hope, but I’m not sure it’s sensible” said Lou with a low voice, and when Catherine said nothing, he continued “I worried about you. No one said nothing to me, and you didn’t even come to me when you arrived back to the lab. Not a text, not a call…absolutely nothing. You behaved like a stranger, but now you’re here and I don’t really see why” Catherine still stayed in silent. She stared down into her tea.

“I’m leaving” said after a few minutes. Finally, she looked up on Lou. She usually dazzling blue eyes now was full with tears and sorrow.


“I’ve got a job at the FBI. I quit from the lab and I’ll move from Las Vegas”


“In the weekend” her first tears flowed down on her face.

“You can’t!” Lou stood up and knelt in front of her. He picked out the mug from her hands and put in down on the table, then grabbed Catherine’s soft hands, and stroked them with his thumbs “You can’t go! I love you! Please, stay” he carefully whipped away her tears. Catherine’s face perfectly slicked into his big palm.

“I can’t” she whispered “I have to go”


“Because…it was enough. The past few weeks and months was so humiliating. I was boss then I did something stupid, something what I didn’t see as a mistake, but at the LVPD they did, and that’s why now…now I’m nothing”

“You’re not nothing. You’re everything for me” Lou kissed Catherine’s hands “You remember how happy we were before all the bad happened? Why don’t we try to be that happy again?”

“Please, don’t do this…not now”

“Cath, I’m serious. Stay here…with me, and we can restart everything”

“I can’t. My job’s waiting for me. I need to get out of here. I can’t live in Las Vegas anymore. I love you, but if I stay here, this city will kill me. I feel like I’m drowning. I’m sorry, Lou!”

“Why is it that my love is never enough for you? I can make you happy. I would bring down the moon for you, and you know that!”

“Because it’s about my life…my life is over, my career is over, my daughter doesn’t need me anymore like she did a few years ago…I feel useless and I need something new to do”

“No, you just want to escape from the problems instead of solve them. Lindsey needs you, I need you. You gave me the meaning of life and love. You could easily find another job in Las Vegas…for example there’s your casino, but no, you have to go away and you hope that your problems will stay here”

“It’s not true. I want to go, because it’s a big step. A new challenge!”

“And what about me?”

“You’ll find a pretty girl who fits you better than I’ve ever done”

“But I want you”

“I want you, too, but Lou…please, understand it, I’m not the right person for you…I…” she couldn’t finish it because Lou pressed his lips on hers. Catherine didn’t disagree. She kissed him back. She starved of his kiss, and wished for that moment anytime she saw Lou at the PD. He picked her up and brought her into the bedroom. He put her on the bed and lied on her. Their kiss became deeper and deeper and his hands danced all over her body. He slowly took off her blouse, gently touched her wound, and breathed a little kiss on it.  Like an aftermath of Lou’s touch, butterflied flow in Catherine’s stomach. She moaned as Lou undressed her, and kissed her. When both of them were naked, Lou carefully lied on Catherine, taking care not to push her wound. He kissed him, and Catherine put her arms around Lou’s neck. She let out a satisfied sight, when Lou finally trusted into her.

   They made love whole night, and felt asleep in each other’s arms in dawn. Lou hoped that he could made Catherine to stay, but he woke up alone. Only a note waited for him on the fridge with Catherine’s handwriting…

I’m sorry but I have to go. Never forget that I love you and I will miss you, C.

   He spent his whole day with looking after Catherine but he couldn’t find her. She wasn’t at the lab, she wasn’t at her place, and she wasn’t at her mother’s. What Lou didn’t know that Catherine left Las Vegas without a word after she woke up in his arms. She didn’t want to make it even harder, so she just breathed a kiss on his lips and left his flat in silent. All of her stuffs stayed in her hometown.

   First, she moved to a little one-room flat in Washington but after a few weeks, she moved away into a bigger one, still in Washington. She didn’t want to move out to Quantico. Washington was perfect, there was everything and the FBI was just a few miles driving away. She didn’t wish for a house in the suburb. That’d be too big for her. She brought three-rooms flat near the Lincoln Memorial. It wasn’t too big but it was enough. There was enough place for her and Lindsey and she even had a little office- and guest room. She enjoyed working at the FBI but the lab and Las Vegas were always in her mind. She missed the Sin City so much and missed Lou, too, but she has never called him up. She tried to forget him. But she wasn’t able to hound him out. She dreamed with Lou, and in her dreams she often felt his scent in her nose, his lips on hers, his gentle touch on her skin, his weight on her. And the fact that how much she missed Lou scared her. She tried to concentrate just on her job and not pay attention other things. She tried to start dating again. She didn’t meet with the right man, but some of her dates ended up in bed but she always thought about Lou if she had sex with someone. She always imagined that Lou was the one who kiss her, touch her, thrust and move in her. None of them was serious, mostly because all the guys felt the ghost of the ex, and  most of them didn’t want more than slept with Catherine, who still cried after Lou with all her heart. She knew that she was the one who left him but…she was still in love with him, and she knew that it won’t disappear. Lou was the perfect man for her.

   She spent as much time with Lindsey as was possible. They were closer to each other, so they often met in New York or in Washington. But Lindsey saw in her mother that her company is not enough for Catherine. She needed a man in her life. And not just a man, but a very special man, called Lou Vartann. But anytime she tried to say something about Lou, her mother immediately changed the topic, and didn’t mention the detective. She still had the problems, which she had have back in Vegas. Washington changed nothing. Lou was right, she just tried to escape, not solve.

   Just a few weeks before Thanksgiving she injured seriously and she was almost killed, when a bullet hit her just a little above her old wound, and too closer to her heart. Then she got ill as the aftermath of the injury. By Thanksgiving, she got better, though she still wasn’t in the best condition, and her recovery wasn’t help by the fact that she celebrated the holiday alone because Lindsey had to stay at the university to learn. She didn’t cook or make a big, fancy dinner. She just whomped something up for herself to eat. It wasn’t her Thanksgiving. She knew nothing to be thankful. She was about to get bed and fall asleep as quick as it was possible when someone knocked on her door. She wasn’t too happy about the visitor but she went to open the door. In front of her door stood no one else but Lou. Catherine dropped her mouth and when she realized who her visitor is, she put her arms around his neck and buried her face into his chest. She tried to cry in silent. They stood in the doorway for a few minutes in that way. Catherine cried, and Lou stroked her back to calm her down.

“I missed you!” whispered Catherine into Lou’s black shirt.

“I missed you, too” Lou breathed a little kiss on Catherine’s forehead.

“How did you get there?” asked Catherine as she guide Lou into the kitchen.

“I don’t know…I sat in the flat at try to find something I can thank for but soon I realized there’s nothing. The only thing I could be thankful is left me… and it was just enough. Enough that I don’t know what’s with you, I don’t hear about you, and I wanted to see with my own eyes that you’re alright…and I can’t stand the distance between us, the silent between us. The missing of you, your scent, your body, your whole being is drove me crazy. I can’t live without you…I tried…I tried for more than nine months and I’m failed. I need you in my life! I never want to lose you again” Lou looked at Catherine. She sat next to him and he cared her hands with his. She said nothing just kissed him gently on his lips.

“How you want to solve the problems?” asked Catherine when they broke apart.

“Which problems?”

“For example the distance. You’re in Vegas, I’m in Washington. I can’t be yours when we’re on the different side of the country”

“Before I came here I told Brass that if everything goes right, he’ll lose me because I’ll quit my job to be with the most important person in my life”

“You would really do it? For me?”

“I should do it in the minute when you told me that you leave Las Vegas”

“No, you wouldn’t. Without that separated time, now I wouldn’t know how much I love you and how much I need you”

“So, I guess it means that you’d like to if I’d stay”

“There’s now word how much I’d like to!” Catherine kissed Lou again. It was that all. They just needed some time spent apart to realize how much they meant to each other. Deep in their hearts both of them knew that they were meant to be together, but because of Catherine’s past, Lou accepted the fact that she had to find it out on her own. It was hard but he knew that if he let her go, she‘d find out what she want. He was right, and that’s why the main reason why he didn’t go after Catherine in the minute, he got her address from Greg. But now he was with Catherine again and he was sure in one thing; he won’t let her go again and he’ll propose and then marry her as soon as possible.



So, I decided I will upload some of my VCR stories. But, please, pass over my grammar in silence. Since I’m not a native English speaker, it’s not the best, and it brothers me more than you, but it will get better :D Thanks!